cancer warrior ~ life enthusiast

life's too short to be anything but happy.

i was sitting outside on the deck with my mom this afternoon and i told her “you know what i’m looking forward to? fall.” and she asked me if i felt good about fall, which i knew was her way of asking if i believed if i would be around for fall. at the beginning of this year, knowing my prognosis, i didn’t think i would be around for summer. but now that summer is coming to an end and i’m still here, i’m just looking forward to the new season. the new season of life for me. i don’t like thinking of it as i’m “dying of cancer”.. because i’m really just living with cancer, you know? of course eventually i will die from cancer, but for now i’m still living. i feel like most people just assume that i’m getting better because i’m still here and i don’t look like a cancer patient anymore. i do have progressing cancer, but that’s just become my new “normal”. rather than trying to fight a battle i’m inevitably going to lose, i’m dealing with my symptoms and focusing on living the best quality of life under the circumstances. i want to be able to enjoy my life rather than spending it in the hospital, getting toxic chemicals pumped into my veins and being so tired i can barely move. i’ve been there, done that. time to move on. i’m embracing the fact that i’m alive right now. i’ve fought like hell to get to where i am today. i’m ready to just make the rest of my life a beautiful experience. surrounding myself with positivity and love. 

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septemberwildflowers:

good things about autumn

  • wearing layers
  • everything has pumpkin flavor in it
  • sWEATERS
  • when u step on leaves and they do the crumpy thing
  • mornings that are crisp and sweet and cold
  • crackly fires
  • the drop in temperature brings out an attractive natural flush
  • did I mention pumpkins
  • those eensy beensy ones
  • u know the ones i mean 
  • autUMN, GUYS

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Anonymous said: Tell us about the best moment of your life?

hugging ellen for sure.. so much happy :~)

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runningmandz:

There’s a difference between wanting to change your body to improve and strengthen it and wanting to change your body because you hate it. It’s important to know the difference because one of those will destroy you from the inside out.

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